Up The Middle

This journal contains views and opinions that may offend close-minded, conservative individuals and those with little or no creativity/ humor. It is an eclectic collection of writings, ramblings, and musings ranging from comedy to serious art, from whats going on in my world to political tirades, from extroverted to introspective, and just about everything else in between. The only really common thread here is that its all who i am.

Thanks,

The Management

Sometimes even growing up in the rural South we get blindsided by things one only thinks are part of stereotypes....

We went to Callaway Gardens (an actual nature place not an amusement park) today cuz well thats what we do periodically with season passes and all. Our grand plan this time was that since we had absolutely no portable food for picnicing that we'd order a pizza from fox's in Pine Mountain (thats a town not a land formation, although it sits a top one of the same name) right up the road from Callaway when we got hungry and then go pick it up. Well we went to get the pizza in Pine Mountain (as if the name doesn't say enough about the town) and we go in Fox's expecting it to be like, you know, a resturant. Well it turns out to be a pizza place/video rental/arcade/bar. Yes thats right, they take yr pizza order behind the very same counter where dvds and VHS are shelved, there are margarita and pina colada specials on wednesdays (according to the board), and off to the left of the "seating area" there are video and pin ball games. This explained the movie posters in the windows beside the bud and miller neons. I half expected that they were selling bait and tackle out the back but i didn't venture to ask. They should rename it Fox's Pizza Emporium...

On wholly different thought, i think the record of our lives is being reduced to sound bites and blurbs. Forget the hundreds of years before the internet- just considering the last ten years i've seen online friends move from journal to social networking to things like twitter and plurk. Each iteration slowly wittling down the amount of information we put out there, and i think possibly making the information we do put out (because its so prolific) of far less interest, value, relevance or importance. Thats not directed at anyone who uses any of these applications just a thought.

I must say though i do hate how people follow the newest online trend. I'm a child of the technology age, i love getting to know people online, i like keeping up with everyone, but i'm not going to follow my Flist around to every social networking and blog site in the world just because its the hottest thing going this month. For one lifes too short to have 50 profiles and passwords and two hours worth of stuff to check. IMO find a platform or forum (or two) u like and stick with it. (ok that may have been a little about someone:)

A friend of a friend (thats the way all good rumors/lies start right- except this is not) linked me to this (Hotpocket you've already seen this). Now it doesn't really matter if you read erotica/romance or not, you *have* to read this ebook review. I promise you will be amused (and perhaps slightly disturbed :P) Before you click this link be forewarned that this is NOT work or kid safe (no pics but graphic language does ensue). Also for the safety of your keyboard be sure you aren't drinking or eating anything while browsing this link. About half way through you will be saying to yourself "surely not" but apparently so, as the torrent of comments after this review will atest. Enjoy, especially if you are having a particularly bad day/week. And it gives hope to good writers everywhere that publication is just around the next turn.....

Brace Yourself

Remember "its go-go not cry-cry"

Yeah thats right , i'm sitting in my living room and watching it snow, inches of snow. Not strange? I live in south georgia and it looks like a winter scene from boston outside. Its mind blowing. We have been out and about since friday, left in torrential downpours, saturday morning there were tornado warnings and a couple of touchdowns in the area, got back about 1a last night, in a balmy 74 F, and woke up this morning to 3 inches of snow or better (the weather web is saying 1 to 2 but i've already been out in it and its definitely more like 3 to 4) and its still snowing- hard, as it has been for 3 and half hours! Yes be happy cuz it just may be the end of days :)

Most of you are thinking whats so fucking great about snow- well here in the deep south we don't get snow and when the weather says we are or will be getting snow that usually means that we'll see some flurries that will melt as soon as they touch the ground or it will be melted when the sun comes up. Not today, i've never seen it snow continously or more than half an inch stick for any decent amount of time here- so it is a sight. Its winter wonder land outside, its quite amazing and so good that i had the day off for a multitude of reasons. I'll post some pics later on. And yes we're like little kids and walked around the complex making snow balls and taking pics :P And of course, phaenix_ash, we sang "let it snow" in the key of T ;)

Freak weather has become a march 1st phenomenon for us, though i must say that i'd much rather enjoy a snow storm than hunker down for a tornado like two years ago....

So from the wintery wilds of columbus, georgia, i'm wishing all my LJ friends well :)

ETA: all told we ended up with 7-8 inches accumulated....

Courtesy of phaenix_ash. Just watch it :)

American society as a whole lives too cush of a lifestyle, we have too much and we take it for granted. Because of the luxury in which we live the majority of us no longer have to worry about where food is going to come from, where to find shelter, how to survive etc. Even most of our poor are "rich" by the standards of many other places in the world. So what this has led to are groups of people with so little to do, so few real concerns in their lives that they attack false "problems" in the name of being activists.

The latest, an activist group wants to ban horse drawn carriages in new york city! I'm dumbfounded and baffled- their whole argument centers around the animals are mistreated which to me is very thin and in reality is not the case anymore than "you own a dog, you must be mistreating it." Lets look at the facts here: horses are draft animals by design, they were bred from wild species specifically for that purpose, so pulling carriages does not affect their "self esteem" these aren't rickshaws! Evidence says these animals are not mistreated because mistreated horses tend to be in poor health due to stress and less able to perform work- mistreatment would be a disincentive for a carriage operator. Some of the carriage operators profits go into caring for the horse(s)- ie stables, feed, vet bills, etc. And banning carriages puts 400 people out of work in New York- which is always the humanitarian thing to do in an economic crisis.

This seems a clear cut case of someone has their panties in a twist without any grounding in facts or any research, possibly b/c they got their mercedes stuck behind a slow moving carriage in traffic. So instead of focusing on real problems like unemployment, or global warming, or some area where animals are truly being mistreated we want to put hardworking people out. Millions upon millions of cars in New York alone pumping out billions of gallons of smog but lets focus on the low pollution carriages. We get those banned and all of new yorks problems are solved! *eyeroll* The other side of the coin that no one ever seems to consider when it comes to animal legislation (although i'll give it to mass. for tacking a solution to said issue on their dog racing ban ( a ban i may add with a legitmate argument) horses like most other domestic animals aren't wild, you don't find horses galloping free through the country side of new york state. As such they require money to be fed, housed, and cared for, i'm sure the majority of carriage owners aren't rich so where do u think that money comes from- ooh ooh carriage rides! So what happens to the horses when they no longer have a job to perform, you can't just release them, they could be sold if there is a willing buyer, but they may also have to be put down. When was the last time *you* went shopping for a horse?

And there may be an owner or two who mistreat their animals, if your that concerned then call the appropriate authorities, think this is pandemic amongst carriage owners petition to have an inspection board. I have never understood why its the human being kneejerk reaction to everything we don't approve of to ban it, I've said it before and i'll say it again "If someone says there should be a ban, there probably shouldn't." The real issue- banning something is easy, improving it or changing the status quo actually requires forethough and understanding.

They're tag is "horse drawn carriages should be a thing of the past like gas lanterns." Yeah becaus there no reasons to preserve history, lets tear down all the historic structures, crush all the antique cars and machinery, ban any handmade clothes, and prohibit the use of any technology not inviented in the last 50 years. You know because all that stuff needs to fade into the past- we don't need a sense of history- we've got cellphones, and airplanes, and prefab houses, and mass produced goods. Extreme perhaps- but thats where that mentality harkens to, that its old so it can't possibly have any merit.

This whole idea is conjured up by idiots armed with little to no information and an agenda. "Beware of stupid people, they're more dangerous than you think" Lets hope the city realizes this.

 

We have come to the conclusion that if u only paid attention to billboards in this city you would think its the worst place to live. They're all advertisements for alcohol treatment centers, rehab, rape consueling, strokes, hospitals, health care, and accident claims. What the fuck, the ten thousand legitmate businesses in this city and none of them can afford a billboard ad. We have our bad parts of town just like every major city but damnit what are you trying to say welcome to columbus become and alcoholic, drive drunk, get into and accident, and have a stroke but don't worry we'll take u to st. francis!

Went to the piggly wiggly downtown today cuz lace wanted a certain type of little debbie that you can oddly only find there. Well this piggly wiggly is located in a poorer part of town and as such caters to a lot of people on foodstamps, etc. Well we're standing in line and the lady in front of us who is obviously on a budget is trying to pay with her EBT card and its not going through. Then i overhear another man surrounded by wife and kids getting increasingly loud near the managers booth about the fact that it is saying hes only got 6 dollars left on his when thats not what his balance was last week. Long story short it turned out that this was a national problem with the ebt cards and while the money wasn't actually gone from the cards, the store wasn't getting paid either. Basically it boils down to you can't buy these groceries today, give the EBT people a call on tuesday (b/c monday is MLK day). I'm fucking appalled, these are people with very limited budgets relying on these cards to feed their families and they can't even buy groceries until this is "fixed" on tuesday! That is fucking bullshit.

I felt so bad for these people, and i wish i was in a position where i could have bought all the groceries for them. It also made us think about how good we have it, how i'll just swipe that piece of plastic- if theres a problem with that card then they'll take this one, or cash. But everybody doesn't have that luxury and i think when we live in a good social strata sometimes we don't think about that. We take our purchasing power for granted. That was just one of those times that was kind of perspective setting.

Lastly, i get tired of the ever expanding population of yuppie americans. Heres the newest stupidity- you've seen them the little family stickers that have stick figures (or sometimes photos) with the families names up under them and sometimes the pets too. Its like a child predators dream come true. Ok so on your car, possibly one of the most public items u own, they have the parents names and the kids name, and perhaps what they look like (if not just watch the car they'll be out soon). "Hey Timmy your mom Laura said i was supposed to come pick u up today." It honestly doesn't take a lot of info to convience a child that you're legit. And if you have one of those stickers paired with a my childs an honor student at soandso middle or a sports ball with the childs name and number or both then you've just basically given the predator a script. Little johnny goes to rivertown middle and plays baseball there and his parents are ross and jane and they have a beagle named max. C'mon, just go ahead and put yr kid in the panel side van! Some of us are putting way too much personal info on a vehicle in a day and age where armed with one singular piece a criminal can steal your whole idenity. Sometimes people really need to think....

Whats been going on with me? Not a whole lot, mainly just work as usual. Been kind of depressed and feeling stuck in a rut lately but don't care to delve into that at the moment. Physically speaking life is pretty good though. Hope everyone else is doing well.

Didn't really do much, just fed the trick-or-treaters. Well there was the fact that when i got home from work i was accosted by some sexy woman who happens to live here :P

This is why i always chose "trick" on halloween :D

 (thats our joke, not meant as an insult)

and another dollar richer (ok at least the first part is true). Sorry i've been LJ dead for so long but contrary to what you may have heard about my tragic mountain climbing death in the himalayas i've just been that damn busy with work and the little free time i have i shelfishly hoard. That aside, though i haven't been posting and commenting as much i'm still keeping up with everyone so don't count yrself forgotten. I'll try to make a 'real" post sometime this weekend or next week for your veiwing pleasure :D

The universe is being a prick this week- the latest reason because i was about one second away from hitting post for my latest entry when the power flickers. It'd been better if it'd gone out- oh no just enough to trip every electronic in the house. Sure its been raining but there hasn't been thunder or lightening one in the sky. Three fucking rain drops and the power trips.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I shall repost tomorrow, maybe......

Hot off craigslist (http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/cas/741280535.html) This is strange to say the least and i'm really hoping its a joke. It goes beyond kink to just faching weird. Either way its funny and puts a *whole* new spin on "interactive gaming"

Text below:

Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers ? - m4w - 30 (Vancouver)
Reply to: pers-741280535@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-03, 5:44AM PDT

Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.

A second read sold me- room 312 the ramada is where i'll be. :P

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0605081spirit1.html

Nothing beats suing yr church for catching the spirit

(I guess i'm making up for all those days i don't post, last one...maybe:)

http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20080624-be-quiet-the-surveillance-cameras-might-hear-you.html

Not to mention i agree with the authors position. Think before you let a politican or government body tell you that __________ technology will keep you safer.

I've never been a big fan of PETA, not because i'm against animal rights but because not only are they radical but more often than not they're senasationalists. And heres yet another reason why: http://sports.yahoo.com/ten/news?slug=reu-wimbledonpigeons&prov=reuters&type=lgns.

You have got to be fucking kidding me- pigeons? Really? You mean those "flying rats" that i see on the eves, bridges, and rooftops of every major metropolitan area? Those same birds that are in line with rats and cockroaches for how well they have adapted to urban environments? Those pigeons?

This is possibly the most ridiculous thing to get upset about that i've heard in the past year, then again it is PETA. You know the same organization that wanted the South Carolina Gamecocks to change their name because it promoted cock fighting. *Yeah everytime i watched the georgia v. sc game, i had the hankering to go to a pit and throw down a couple hundred on a big red rooster.*

Now given it could be argued that perhaps there was a better way for Wimbledon to go about this, especially considering the highly public nature of the event however, thats beside the point. I think the hawks were a fantastic measure, when that doesn't work, there aren't many options left. You know what happened when the scarecrows didn't work and crows got into my grandparents garden, they SHOT THEM! Its not some big travesty and its not the first time someone has shot nusiance birds. 

Should they have canceled the event? You know had a two year study done to see when the pigeons weren't in the area and then worked around that perhaps? *If i ever have a mouse problem, i'll just move out, you know i wouldn't want to hurt the little critters.* Trapping is the only other logical route i can think of and a) time consuming and b) not the most effective, considering pigeons aren't as dumb as most people may think. The way PETA is reacting you would think that they caught these birds, plucked them alive, and tortured them with pins till they dyed. They fucking shot them, i'm pretty confident they died instantly and never knew what happened. Cruel? Since when is shooting cruel? Bear traps are cruel, electrocution is cruel, snares are cruel. Shooting not so much.

Its not like these are some endangered bird either, they number in the millions if not billions. On top of that they are well adapted to urban life, are hand fed by millions of people every year, and breed extremely well so i seriously doubt that the loss of a few, or even fifty for that matter, is going to cause a noticable dent in the population or stunt genetic diversity. The way PETA is behaving about this incident you would have thought a couple of california condors had swooped in on a tennis match and were gunned down with AKs, without so much as a shoooo cry warning beforehand. Some people really need to get a life. What next are we going to protest the trapping and extermination of rats in new york, afterall i think they're on the verge of extinction. Oh noes what if someone shot one of those *precious* rats? We'd probably have to get a march together for that.......

Its not that i'm meaning to imply that animals don't have rights unless they are endangered or that pigeons aren't important (even though i opend this with a "flying rat" comment i don't really dislike pigeons just driving a point) or that people should just go out and shoot pigeons for sport b/c their population is so large (remember the passenger pigeon?) What i am saying that sometimes in the regards to health, well being, preservation, and sometimes piece of mind nusciance animals are put down- and this is the way of nature- animals kill other animals (and contrary to popular belief its not always for food).

There is bear fighting in India, dog fighting here in the states, whaling in Japan, poaching in Africa but obviously none of these horrors hold a candle to the death of a few fucking pigeons. Protest something of substance for once! This to me seems to be another clear cut case of pick the easy fight because its too much effort to deal with real [animal rights] problems.

Don't you hate it when you dream about someone that you've lost (not nessecarily by death, just who is no longer in yr life) and everything is ok, only to wake up to a good feeling that all too quickly turns to sadness. It sucks and in my case someone you've tired hard to put out of yr mind is right there in the forefront for the rest of the day. Bleh.....

So we have a new venue in town that is close to opening, it takes the old home of a longtime spot known as Muldoons. Rather its the same owners i have no idea since it was never one of our hangouts. Anyway they got their signage the other day, calling themselves H2O but the funny shit is their tagline is Lifes Essential Fluids. Now maybe our minds stay in the gutter a little bit more than the general population but that tag sounds like it should be for Redlight District Films, not a dance club. Maybe you had to see it in person but we had a good laugh. After all nothing says party like fluids...or wait maybe thats orgy....

The gremlin car that is Laces 96 Ford Taurus is at it again, only this time its not its fault- its shoddy chinese manufacturing. The car has always had gremlins- all small things- nothing that affects the overall functionality of the car and it has definitely been a great car all those quirks aside. To give you a quick background. Well a few months back we (as in my dad and i) had to pull the engine to replace the freeze plugs that had rusted out (because like all "good" manufacturers Ford found out they could save a penny per car by using steel plugs instead of brass). For those who aren't adepth about cars- when yr freeze plugs rust out your car loses coolant and eventually trys to (or does if yr not paying attention) run hot. So that was a grueling two day job and we thought that had solved the attempted overheating problem. Well it did- for a while. 

And then it started running warm again, we were not happy. It took forever to figure out how it was losing water or even where. Finally i checked right after we parked it one day and after crawiling around up under it, i found that the overflow resevoir (the one we didn't replace when we did everything else but should have) had, what turned out to be, a huge crack in the bottom. This crack consequentially only leaked significantly when the car was warm and the cooling system was pressurized, which forced it open. I was happy that it was an easy part to replace so hiho hiho its off to the autoparts store for a new one which surprisingly only cost $16. And thats where i should have known better. It was chinese aftermarket and i definitely got what i paid for. The car started leaking again today- Lace calls me at work to tell me it dumped all the water at the mail house. Well when i get home i popped the hood, filled the resevoir, started the car, and oh look at that- the whole fucking top of this brand new part has fucking separated and is now spitting coolant all over the ground. Its not two fucking weeks old, the pressure cap is correct for the car, it has not ran hot- could only be one cause- shoddy manufacturing followed by zero pressure testing. I do want to say that i'm not implying that everything made in china is crap or that there aren't crappy things made here in the US, i'm sure everyone has realized theres plenty. But i still am not sold on items being of top quality coming from the developing world. Needless to say the next one is going to be genuine 100% Ford or at the very least a name brand aftermarket replacement. I think i'm more angry that a part i just replaced has failed than i would be if it had been something else. Its bullshit is what it is and just like the saying "If its too good to be true, it probably is." Fucking cheap shit.

So you may or may not know that famed former MLB star Jose Canseco's 2.5 million (that’s right million) dollar home is being foreclosed on. Now this in itself while on the surface shocking that a millionaires home is being foreclosed, is not really all that news worthy. He basically stopped paying his mortgage because in his words "it wasn't worth it." Thousands of homeowners have done this as debt on their home has substantially outgrown its now deflated (in all actuality 'real') value. To me, his celebrity makes that move no more news worthy than my neighbor being foreclosed for the same reason, and actually less so because unlike many average Americans he certainly is in no real danger of going homeless. If one stops making house payments then obviously the bank will foreclose. What is news worthy however is the downtrodden way in which Canseco described his financial situation:

"You know my life, this financial thing, is a very complicated issue. Obviously, when you make all that money, people think [you're set], `OK, let's assume it is $35 million.' People have to understand that $35 million, you're paying the government 41 percent. That leaves you with about $17 or $18 million, not even. Then you're taking care of your whole family."

*Gosh, life must be hard with a meager $18 million to live off of, jeez i think i'm getting teary just thinking about how he may have to down grade his Mercedes or, travesty of travesties, sell it *gasp.* 

You have got to be fucking kidding me, this man is whining because he only has $18 million to cover his expenses. If your life is that fucking difficult with that much money you need to invest in a financial planner because obviously your investment decisions, or lack thereof, are not sound. Not to say money solves everything but don't whine about how hard it is being a millionaire to the vast majority of people who will never even see that much money at one time in their entire lives. And to add insult to injury i don't think he’s following in the footsteps of MC Hammer either since he has two expose-type books coming out and is trying to get a movie produced. *Man it just gets so hard for the rich and famous sometimes.* I wish i lived a life were i could gripe about how few millions i had to live off of. I think the King of Saudi Arabia, the Sam Walton children, and Bill Gates may be mailing out sympathy cards as i type but from the rest of us- planet earth calling Canseco- get. the. fuck. over. it.

What next, will we hear how Bill Gates *only* has a couple of billion in stock options, an unfathomable salary, and a fat ass pension to live off of. I can picture it now " You don't understand how hard it is, after taxes i've only got $12 billion to support my entire family. I know that seems like a lot but do you realize how much maintenance is on a 250,000 square foot mansion?"

All my empathy for Canseco on his financial problems boils down to three letters- S.F.W.

 Ok, so i read an article last night on the Wall Street Journal and today the very same one shows up on the Yahoo homepage->  http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/104914/Load-Up-the-Pantry about stockpiling food because of the continuing rise in global prices. First i would like to point out that no matter what paper or news site this has made it into it seems to be written more by an opinion columist than by an expert on the global situation. Not to say that I'm on top of the game there but i have read and watched things about this issue from well-noted economists- sources i trust. 

First his article starts off with the line "i don't want to be an alarmist"- well generally that really translates to i'm about to be an alarmist and reading the rest of the article leads me to believe just that. Sure there's a rationale behind the article but it has its flaws. It is true that food has no where near reached inflation adjusted highs of the mid-70s and it very well could head there. But that doesn't nessecarily mean that they will and some hope not mentioned anywhere in the article is that Thailand and several other major rice producers are expecting bumper crops this year which will dampen rices upward climb in price and wheat has already dropped a few percentage points on the strenght of global supply. Thats not to imply we're out of the woods yet but automatically makes me skeptical of an article that mentions absolutely no positives to a situtation.